It’s been a very long time since I’ve posted anything, and that’s because many, many things happened. In many ways, my world has changed completely since my last post. My family has shrunken, and in general I have attended more funerals than I ever thought I would have in a very short time. I also found myself dealing with hospitals many times, and dealing with some good news followed by lots of bad news, in a seemingly never-ending cycle. In the meantime, time doesn’t slow down, or rather it picks up pace.
I do wonder if anyone ever reads this, or even remembers that this blog exists, and by “anyone” I mean humans; of course bots crawl around here, especially with all the AI scraping going on.
So, as I face and come to terms with my own mortality, if anything because I have seen death touch and take so many people whom I loved, I figured I would post again.
As always, I am not going to be posting regularly. I honestly don’t have the luxury of being able to commit to a schedule, even if I wanted to; and that’s not counting the fact that, and I cannot stress this enough, I do simply not want to commit to a schedule. It would make this yet another chore, and I have enough of those to deal with on a daily basis.
That said, I do hope to find the time to post every now and then, if anything just to have a place to keep track of and offload the things that go through my mind. With all that has happened and is happening around me, I have caught myself thinking about how sad it is that, once you’re gone, everything that you thought about, or knew, or had an opinion on, just disappears into nowhere. In a way, the reason I want to start writing again and posting things is not necessarily to have an outlet, and for sure I have no reason to believe that anything that goes on in my mind is interesting to anyone else; but I suppose that it is a relief to know that my thoughts are not just in my head anymore, and that should anything happen to me, these ideas remain out there. An attempt at a legacy, I suppose.
Obviously, there is no concept of permanence on the Internet, and as soon as my credit card lapses this server will also disappear. Yet this is certainly better than nothing, and that alone is enough to bring me a grain of peace.
I don’t know if posting here is going to placate the looming feeling of impending personal doom, nor do I know whether anyone is ever going to peek at this every now and then, just to see if anything new has showed up. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter: I always wrote because I enjoyed the process, not necessarily for acquiring an audience.
Yet, if you are reading this, and you used to know me from whatever there was before, feel free to reach out to me and let us reconnect. I don’t have much time to dabble in social media or things of the sort, or whatever is left of that anymore now that there’s AI slop everywhere, but I do enjoy and nice chat, and I miss a lot of people.
So, I suppose, this is my way of saying “hello” again.